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KT Fanbook

The forum gets creative with words...

Poems, limericks and short stories by forum members

First Thoughts on KT Tunstall
 
And did you ever think this could be happening to you?
A last minute appearance on BBC2
A one woman band with Fiorentini Baker boots
Armed with an acoustic and a penchant for loops
Whilst weary and worn out, I stumbled across
The Fifeian beauty with the lungs of an Ox
 
And did you ever think, "well isn't this surprising?"
When Eye To The Telescope started exponentially rising
Seventy places to number three in the charts
You know more than most; you've got to work for your art
A decade spent busking, and learning your craft
You took to your dream, and you've never looked back
 
And when you went on your three UK tours
Did you expect we'd be asking for more?
Backed by the band, the rain to your flower
When you're on stage you can feel like a tower
Capacity crowds, wherever you played
The gigs were too short, we prayed that you'd stay
 
And do you believe, by this time next year
You'll have achieved all your aims in your career?
A number one album; perhaps an album to boot?
And was it because of your fondness for loops?
But as the beacon of light you give out starts to glow
Remember us fondly, wherever you go.
 
Written by Tom (TheGuiltyUndertaker)
 
 

SIREN

Black rain nips like miniature darts on my red bullseye face,
carried in the early morning gales which only cats seem to know about.
My sodden boots immature squelching noises scare rats out of their drains,
frightening their tiny darkened hearts
into squeaking chaos, evacuating their comfortable, damp trenches.

Across the street, a doorframe unpeels a warm, tangerine glow
where a shadow fills its shape like a name signed in a box,

the most beautiful name my lips ever uttered,
smiling in a white see-through dress, uncoordinated socks.

The dark mirrors of love bewitch my eyes as her hand beckons me in
from the miserable storm which my clothes have become so accustomed to;
a blue skin stitched with denim and buttons.
Behind a neighbour's curtain, a sentry keeps guard, armed
with a telephone on Speedial for '999' - the new century protection for elderly
folks when suspicion skulks into their mind.

The bud of my eyes cave in, vacuumed flowers, to her beloved apparition
where the scent of coffee hums like birds over her shoulder.

Inside now, the colours of her home churns the street's sinister shadow
like a minister's isolated figure on a sunset hill,
blessing
the lost souls in anonymous graves.
These, the victims of love's unrepentant blade,
tearing open fresh scars from neck to heel
where their weak hearts are served in a hungry dog's bowl;

their raised spirits preserved in the kitchen's pickled jars.

(Stephen)

A wee Scots lass called KT
Goes everywhere with her WBP
As Naz's stand in
All the votes she did win
And the rest, as they say, is history

(James1)

A beautiful mind - so creative, so kind
she can turn water into wine, she is determined & refined.
The uphill struggle of the puzzle, when the peices didn't always fit,
the candle was burning out, even though it hadn't been lit...

Somehow this girl found strength to carry on, she busked and she travelled to the back of beyond,
the last trip on the train, " what shall beckon me on my return "
a life of writing songs and endless fun,

When people told her " your on the wrong side of 25 " she carried on regardless and new she'd somehow get by, she knew she'd survive,
the mindless attidtude of what our industry has become,
musicial talent? some have none,

Theres something magical in the way she sings,
the passion in heart and the joy she brings
you can see something fiery, something vibrant and amazing
this girls guitar is on fire her songs are blazing!


Throw her a rope, she's climbing high
that big tower, suddenly she can see, the sky
the stars are bright, theres apparent fame
and if you look closely you'll see her name
 
(Vickid)

One day I felt under the weather
So I put my radio on
And out blasted KT Tunstall
And the nasty feeling was gone!

It was a hot sunny day in the garden
That I first became a fan
Jigging away to the sounds of KT
Whilst topping up my tan!

So I rushed to the shops to buy the CD
But a miniature disaster occurred
Suddenly I see that the shops near me
Were all closed, I had a choice word!

But now all is well I have the CD
With B-sides and autographs too
So I wanted to say to the boys and KT
Well done guys, I love all of you!

Keep it up guys, you rule!!!!!
Lots of luv...jaytee

Did you ever in your life
Hear of a place called Fife?
The home of a wee singer
And a massive smile bringer,
No? Right so, let me tell you
About yer woman KT Tunstall and the legend of the woo hoo.
Once upon a time there was a mystic song
With a beat that just couldn’t go wrong
When this fab pair of brown boots hit a pedal
Feck me was the sound worthy of a gold medal.
That was me gone so! Hijacked by a big black horse
Taken in by the Tunstall charm and those dimples of course
But here is the mad thing oh such Skipity la did it bring
These loopy fans found the kttunstall.com forum thing!
Oh havoc did they reek in the craziest threads
Making me laugh so much I could drop down dead.
Be warned if you meet them and in hand there is a drink
There is sure to be a camera lurking nearer than you think
Point the finger you all know who to blame
Her name is KT of the Tunstall one and the same
For bringing together such a raucous and lovely bunch
Diamond gals and geezers when it comes down to the crunch!
 
Written by Steph (stuff)

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I wanted another place to fall, so I went to the other side of the world. All I saw was a black horse and the cherry tree and had a miniature disaster. Then I realised it was just a false alarm.

I looked at the silent sea through the dark and thought about KT and the universe and u. I thought about stopping the love and thought it would heal over. But suddenly I see, I was just under the weather.

(TunstallToadstall)

A medical friend has just sent me the following, and I thought it was my duty to share it with you. It appears on the letters page of this months "Lancet"


Quote:

01/04/05

Dear Sir

Over the last six months or so I have noticed a new disease that I have named "Tunstallitis". It was first noted in the St Andrews area of Scotland, but now covers the whole of the UK, and has even spread to France, USA and Australia. Sufferers put song titles into everyday conversation, perfix good news with "WooHoo" and bad with "BooHoo". The most severe sufferers wear bright badges covered in meaningless phrases.

I think this disease is spread via the internet as all sufferers appear to spend an in-ordinate time "surfing" and I think it would be a minature disaster for it to get a hold on the entire world.

As yet there seems to be no cure, but mild sufferers can be helped by joining the zzzDidozzz forum. It has been suggested that for the most severe sufferers, exposure to the music of Anastasia might be a cure, but I feel that this is a cruel treatment.

The worst sufferer that I have treated (case name "Brushfire") is really beyond help. She has become incoherent and incontinent, and has been forced to live in High Wycombe.

I am currently seeking a Government grant for further research into this deadly disease.

Dr "Trader" Jones. MD, FRCP & 'Webs Wonder'
The Surgery
Merrytwit

(Posted by James1)

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Chapter 1 - A Story

Once upon a time, not so long ago, our heroine (KT) decided to go on a journey. So one day while standing at her window, she put her Eye To The Telescope and pointed it North.

It wasn’t long before KT was off on her travels to the Other Side Of The World. Miles from home she decides to hire a wee boat to seeif a day at sea will inspire any new songs. The only place to rent a boat was from Mr Sin Kallot, and he only had one boat. ‘I’ll take it’ said KT excitedly.

So off she sets in her pedalo - well maybe not a pedalo - it had an engine, with her margherita mix and her faithful guitar! Quite content, she sails off into the sunset, looking for Another Place To Fall in love with. Just as our intrepid explorer gets settled in and sorts herself out with another margarita, a rather large seagull starts hovering overhead. Just as she’s about to take a sip, SPLAT! the seagull dropped whatever was in his mouth and it lands not an inch away form KT and her friend the margarita. ‘For fanny’s SAKE’ exclaimed KT, who got a bit of a fright and of course dropped her drink. Slipping on the spilled drink, KT skids across the boat (all 3 feet of it!) and lands on her arse right beside the little gift the seagull just left her. It takes a minute to focus, but all of a sudden it becomes clear what it is. Dido’s album. The thought of being in such close proximity to such a depressing item obviously makes KT feel Under The Weather, so she decides to drop anchor, chuck Dido overboard and wait it out until she feels better.

NOW, the mixture of alkeehol, sunshine, fresh air and Dido starts to have an adverse effect on poor li’l KT and she begins to hallucinate. You know what’s coming next doncha?! She starts seeing all sorts of weird shit, like Dido, coffee revels, sushi. Then from nowhere, a dark creature is circling her head and it has a cherry in its mouth. EUREKA-DOO-DAH!! ‘I’ve got a great idea for a song’ she says rather loudly. All excited with herself she starts tinkering with her guitar and drumming on the bottom of the boat with her foot. TUNE!!!! Gets the song down in about 15 minutes and is so chuffed with herself she has a wee victory dance, little realising that all her drumming on the boat has weakened the floor. ‘I’ll call it Black Horse and the Cherry Tree’ she thinks to herself. Hmm!

Much contentment washes over KT as she sits down with another drinky to reflect on her day. It began with a string of Miniature Disasters which included, impaling herself on a guitar string, realising she’d left her luggage on shore and all she has is what she stands in. Yep, her swimsuit! and the incident with the gull, but, she can still smile, because she knows she has a hit on her hands! Suddenly, something catches KT’s eye on the floor of the boat! It's water! 'Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck’ exclaims KT to the Gods, ‘Why me? Gimme a break’

It’s getting pretty dark now and Expedition KT needs to head back to shore, but alas, the darn boat won’t start, and it’s sinking rather rapidly! With water now up to her knees, KT decides she’s gonna have to bail out and swim for it. So she jumps ship, ahem, boat, with only her trusty guitar for support. After treading water for 7 seconds, KT looks around and sees nothing. No lights. No noise. NOTHING! And with the boat now well underwater it’s pitch black out there in the eerily Silent Sea. Swimming as best she can, Cap’n KT starts thinking about life and random thoughts come to mind, one in particular which is rather fitting for her predicament. ‘When its just the Universe & U it’s ok to think ................. when all of a sudden her thoughts are interrupted by something up ahead. LAND AHOY! Woo Hoo! (ooh liking the Woo Hoo, must get in into BH&CT somehow!) anyway, YES, LAND!

With a new burst of energy, KT swims in the direction of the land. Paddling with all her might, all the while keeping a tight hold of her guitar, which now has a broken string, only to discover its a False Alarm. Turns out to be a piece of driftwood. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. la la la

Chatting away to herself, KT begins to get a bit delusional, rambling, ‘Fish! Old Bastard! Juice! Mouse! Locker! Dido! JUICE!!?!? What the hell?? Must get a hold of myself!!!!’ ‘Must find land’ . KT pushes herself forward still ranting a bit, ‘suddenly I feel alone, suddenly I miss my chummers, Suddenly I See ........ SMACK!!! She swims right smack bang into a bouy!! Now she’s pissed!!! She screams into the darkness, ‘What the hell you gonna throw at me next world?’

Resting for a short while, and giving her head a chance to recover the impact, KT, who usually loves everything life throws at her, now seriously considers Stoppin’ The Love - For the sea and its creatures at least! ‘Godforsaken bloody stupid idea. Go sailing I said. Get ideas I said. ARSE!’, KT is not a happy shoe. She feels at the cut on her head and the blood has dried as it begins to Heal Over. ‘Onward’ she states, ‘Must get home before I’m 30’

Swimming along quite fast now, as our heroine is in a foul mood, she soon covers 200 yards. Looking up and peering Through The Dark she hears the sound of voices coming from the not to distant distance (?! hmm!), and she sees lights too! ‘WOO HOO, I’m saved’, she thinks.

There’s a party going on at the beach and KT can only just make out a banner stuck up in the sand. ‘Something about tonsils’ It was the annual Tonsils Out National summer BBQ. A popular outing in the world of dentistry. Getting closer KT manages to attract the attention of the T.O.N BBQ chairperson and she shouts, ‘Throw Me A Rope please’ The T.O.N members manage to haul KT to safety and she is very grateful. After admiring her swimwear and the now purple lump on her head, they hand her a towel and a beer and she joins the party. A super bond is formed and as a thank you, KT performs her newly penned (well, memorised) song for the T.O.N. They like it so much they consider changing the name of their little group to Tunstallation Nation.

And the rest, as they say, is history.

Posted by G_irl Interrupted (Claire)

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Hey KT ,
We know how much you like random facts and so have made a list of some, most of them are completely irrelevant to anything!
 
1. ‘Llamas are great working partners and family pets'.
2. ‘Lamps also have the need to accessorize with lampshades’.
3. ‘Lok soppa trad' means onion soup tree in Swedish’.
4. ‘The word soup comes from the English term "sop", meaning a piece of    
    bread soaked in liquid’.
5. ‘Hats keep your head warm’.
6. ‘A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out’.
7. ‘No two zebras have the same markings’.
8. ‘Fairy lights don’t only look good on Christmas trees but in houses all year   
    round’
    Love  Tash (ikle freak) and Leanne (freed)

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KT is fab honest and true.
I really like her , yes I do.
The songs are great and so's her voice.
I have to listen I have no choice.


The songs she sings, come from the heart.
And that is probably the best place to start.
And this poem is, probably poo.
But I'm tired so its going to have to do.

Lots of Love

Janie and Paul Britton xx
The ICE band


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A Fanbook For KT Tunstall